77 replies to this topic

[Newfoundking]

I'm glad someone pointed that out, I wouldn't hav enoticed it, I typed it all up in the reply box, so I didn't get to use spell check or anything, because I don't have all my things transfered to my current computer.

Thanks for pointing that out, just as a little thing, if there is anything you cant make sense of, just let me know and I'll explain it/make spelling corrections!

[Newfoundking]

okay I just spent the past hour and a half typing up the next chapter, and guess what?

the bloody IE went bac a page, and lost it all... I'm pissed as hell, so unless someone has a way for me to get it back, you wont be seeing chapter 10 for about a week(sorry but can't do that again, wont be as good, gotta wait a little while)

[Newfoundking]

Okay, I owe you a chapter... the only reason I don't have it up yet is the fact about 4 days after the post before lost my computer... This was a result of a motherboard frying.. I recently received a new computer last night, so I am going to present chatper __ now(cant remember the number)

Chapter 10

When I pull up to the entrance of the military zone, I am waved through, which is strange, as usually I am stopped and checked. Oh well. There seems to be quite the crowd of civilian cars around, especially news vans... This must be something big.

The generals Building is building 1 and is quite the large building for three offices, the main office, and a lobby, because it's only him, the ITDUS Chief, and the ITDUS Research Commander.

When I pull into the small lot in front of the building, I am made to show Identification, and after almost being denyed entry, I hear the General's voice on the radio again;

"Corporal Johnson, let Dr. Merer in right now! Thats a direct order"

The corporal starts to turn a bit red in the cheeks, before giving me a glare, and motioning for me to continue in.

When I walk in I see a small lobby, with one reception desk, 3 Receptionist, a small guard post to my right, then 2 single doors, bathroom doors, and 2 sets of double doors, one on the wall to my left, and one to the wall opposite me.

"Dr. Mercer, please go into the General's office right now, he needs to see you ASAP" A lady's voice calls out to me. I look up to see it is a lieutenant, about 27 years old giving me these instructions.

When I walk in, I see an empty desk, and two rooms, one with doors, and the other a small narrow hallway like room with a door leading to the left side of the building.

"Ah, Dr. Mercer, or should I said Leone. David, I called you in, for two reasons. The first being that I want to thank you for what you have done, America wants to thank you. Without any formal military training, and even without a team, you single handedly took out America's second biggest threat. Thank you once again."

Astounded to be receiving both personal thanks from the country's leader, as well as being refered to something other than my codename on base I can utter no other words except, "Thank-you, sir."

"Dr. Leone, the other reason you are hear is because there is going to be a major change to take place, I will explain it entirely after this in the meeting room to the left, but until then, I just want you to get Heather Stein, and as much information on this as you can at the meeting next room, because we need you to develop a certain substance to counter-act the deep-freeze."

"What Deep-freeze" I demand, "Are you planning on freezing us out."

"Dr. Mercer, clam down, Call Ms. Stein, and tell her to get on base as soon as possible, and if you want more information go to the meeting room next door. Now excuse me, but I have to leave"

I walk out, and call Jillian on my phone, telling her to get on base, we need to work, and to turn on her radio on the way over.

I walk into the already started conference, and there are about 150 reporters and even more military brass and protection in the room. I didn't even know this room exsisted, but this explains the building's size.

"...Although the taliban has lost it's leaders, and is believed to be all gone, there is still a major threat to us, which are these creatures roaming our planet. At a recent joint leaders meeting held in DC, in lieu of the destruction of most of New York City, it has been decided to launch a special action plan idue to recent discoveries made in the MZ right here in DC. We have identified three main weaknesses in the creatures, those being blinking light patterns, which seems to trigger some sort of brain process overload, similar to epilepsy, which makes this void as a suggestion for rescue. Another way was to remove the head, which, like humans, contains the main center of control, the brain. This is possible, but very impractical, and extremely dangerous. Which leaves the last option, which is to act upon ther extreme reaction to sub-zero celsius temperatures. This has been decided as the most likely action, and has a plan for it. Special chemicals have been brought to both poles, and will be released at 1700H GMT to create a sudden vaporization of the ice, causing a blockage of UV rays, making it near impossible for any of these creaetures to survive at 1713H GMT the temperature will drop almost everywhere to sub zero. Aid workers will be available to assist during this state of emergency, but everyone is to stay indoors until after the emergency state globally has been lifted. At this point, a chemical will be released to activate a heating of all known species, with another strand embedded to cause quick rot of any of those creatures' lungs that inhales this chemical. Within a week from today, people will be back to normal life, and life will return to normal, as planned"

I walk out the door as he finishes, and all that I hear is a brash of questions flying from reporters to the general, I see Jillian stood in the doorway.

"I heard it all on the speakers, is this what this is all about?" She asks me

"Yes, it is" are the only words I can spit out, because I have to watch helplessly as my planet is forever cahnged.

"Oh my--" Jillian says

"Excuse me, Dr. Mercer, Ms. Stein I beleive?"Lieutenant Eva says

"Yes" we answer in sync

"Go home, and return to the base tomorrow at 0700h, until then it is unsafe, we cannot have anyone on base" lieutenant Eva tells us

I walk out to my car, and I drive us home, Jillian must've walked, because her car isn't here.

* * *

The special clock set to GMT reads 1700H, and the newscaster reveals to us the agent has been released, thirteen minutes left.

I look at Jillian, for what I know maybe be the last time I ever do, and kiss her, with the most passionate kiss I have ever had. She looks me in the eye, then closes her eyes, and cuddles into me closer. I bring Hobo closer to me, and he starts to fidget, but I hold him tight. Charlie is nestled in the crevase between me and Jillian.

The clock now reads 1712. One minute until the dawn of everlasting winter. I hug Jillian one last time, kiss her and closer my eyes tight.

The ground shakes, and the wind blows harder then I have ver heard before. The mug on the table by the window shatters as my steaming hot coffee instantly freezes. Then comes the shrill screams of death


That concludes the first book, I do beleive... if you want to ask any questions now is your chance...
I can write an EmP exclusive author's note if you would really like, that explains the reasoning behind the first book.

Signed,

DWJ Burke


March 19th. 2009

[jab16]

nice you really need to get this published. very good by the way why dose it repeat twice?

[Newfoundking]

does what repeat twice

EDIT OIMG, woops, double post in one post!

lol fixed!

And as for the publishing, in a while, I will probably redo it into a second darft and send it out not publicly but to some publishing companies... But until I get a contract telling me I cannpt send out anymore public darfts, I will keep supplying first drafts to Emergency-Planet!

[Newfoundking]

Well, I said I would probably do it, and I think I might..
This will be an explanation of the first book, and why everything happened as it did, straight from the thought of this..


Well to start from the start, it all began when I went to see I am legend. That got me thinking; wouldn’t it be cool to write a post apocalyptic book? But then I thought to myself no that would be to hard, I don’t even know what to do.
Over the next week, I wrote a book about a dream I had, and it seemed okay. Then that night, it hit me in a dream, what to write about. I then got up the next morning and wrote the first chapter to what is now book three. This was intended to be one book and one book only, but I got to the end of it, and realised I really liked writing books.
I developed a whole 5 part story in my head over the next 4 days, and decided to write book one. This was originally supposed to be a draft to compliment my other book, in part with book 2, and it became that. Then I released a chapter or two on to EmP. This came quite well. From there, it can all be seen.
The Characters were chosen very carefully, and I might rename one or two soon. I chose David Leone, because his first name is the same as my given one, and Leone was because we were studying the Mafia, and it reminded me of GTA III and Salvatore Leone, and his Mafia. Jillian Hedges was picked because “J” names always came easier to me, and Jillian was a girl’s name, and I chose Hedges because I noticed the hedge surrounding the house out the window when I invented her character. Little did I know I would soon date a Jillian Hedges (not the same one that is the first result when you Google her either!) Needless to say the two characters became very similar as we dated. I will probably change that name later though, for obvious reasons. The two “code names” I made for the characters were based off compilations of people I was talking to at the time. David Leone became William Mercer, mainly because of the family ties both those names have to me.
I have been working meticulously at the final book, book 5, which will lead me to the end of the series, and on to other thoughts. I have written a total of 5 books now, those being, my very first, and the first 4 parts of “The Outline Part.” I am currently finishing the final part, and also starting on a separate book, which is in the basic thought processes, which basically means writing 1-2 pages for each chapter of the main body of the book, then re-reading, and doing up the outline.

To clue up I will tell you, that I have many more plans for this book, which includes 2 more chapters at the beginning of the book, to explain everything I tried to fit in before the explosion, as well as an extension to the final chapter, giving space between the speech and the freeze.

Now you might want to know why this book is called the outline part, right? Well guess what, you will have to read the rest of them, and then if you haven’t figured it out, I will tell you in the Authors note of book 5.

PS... Sorry for the double post, but I asked someone to put a post in so it wouldn't be a double post, I guess they didn't make it... Oh well, I think special rules can apply to this topic, which are I can double post, if it is a new chapter... I don't think I will be prosecuted for that

[Cybexx]

Did get a little I am Legend feeling here
Looks good, dident read it all, but looks good

[Ami89E1234]

watch out for copyright infringement; in Dead Space theres a Dr. Challus Mercer who's a crazy Unitologist and basically the main antagonist throughout the game (until the end of Chapter 10 when he lets himself be "transformed into the child of humanity and gaze upon the face of God.")

[Newfoundking]

Well As for the I am legend, that's probably because it's really the only end of world movie like this that has been out recently..

As for the infringement... I chose Mercer, because it's a family name, I think I'm allowed to use my own family name in a book (not meant toward you, but anyone who tries to get me for infringement)

However, if either of you want to discuss this more, or expand, please feel free.. I am out of new chapters for a while, while I work on two new beginning chapters for this, and some editing in it.

[Ami89E1234]

well im just warning you sbout EA . they have no soul.

[Newfoundking]

Indeed that they don't but, I have lawyers And I think they hate EA as much as the rest of us..

Well I'm fine with them, as long as they mind their own flowering business, and leave my book alone

I will be hoping to finish book 1 soon, as my girlfriend is on study lock down, and aside from the plane crash scheduled for thursday, I have nothing to do for a week... I will get some writing in there

EDIT

I just finished Draft 2. I will do some editing, so wish me luck

[Cybexx]

and aside from the plane crash scheduled for thursday

WTF?! Are you a terrorist

[Newfoundking]

Haha, no I signed up to be part of a plane crash, or something else involving a plane and lots of injured people Thursday at the airport... It's a mock disaster... I wonder what the people who are arriving in the airport will think? lol

[Ami89E1234]

they think: "Strange Canadians, eh? "

[Newfoundking]

Haha, not just strange Canadians, most of them are Canadian, but they'll probably think.. Oh, just those Newfies again, just don't make Eye contact, they might ask you to fish or drink some rum, and we all know there is no more fishing

[joachimnor]

omg xD

[Newfoundking]

Anyways, I have just completed the final version of draft 2 for the book, I did that yesterday after the whole thing we had on the go. It's ready now, and I will just have it edited then it's good to go, hopefully

JAB DELETE SOME MESSAGES! I need at least one free slot!

[puppysboy222]

Anyways, I have just completed the final version of draft 2 for the book, I did that yesterday after the whole thing we had on the go. It's ready now, and I will just have it edited then it's good to go, hopefully

JAB DELETE SOME MESSAGES! I need at least one free slot!

Yay! I am a HUGE fan of the book, and I am currently working on one. I need to type it up though because it is in my journal with my sloppyish hand writting. Keep it up!

[Newfoundking]

Just a status update.

I am currently working with a girl from St. Louis now, just adding the finishing touches to this book. I think it will be good, then I'm gonna send it off to TOR

[Ami89E1234]

lol and if anyone thinks im a girl i will destroy them. completely.

lol that reminds me i should put my book on here (the forum).