77 replies to this topic

[Newfoundking]

Thanks for taking interest in my book. Apparent;y I am a better writer than I think I am, but I geuss you are almost most critical on yourself. David Leone goes through alot more over the next 3 chapters, and more so on into the next couple of books... Most of it goes away by book 3 tho I will try to give you a chapter tomorrow at the latest, but so much stuff over the next three days I am not to sure but next weekend, I'll get a lot of this typed up and released to you guys.

BTW I am working on typing up the sixth chapter, should only take a little while, I'll try later on tonight (like 2300 NST) or possibly tomorrow when I get out of recording... I am kind of busy with that at the moment... Will have some visual aids to go with all this by the end of the book... Maybe a little something to show what's in my imagination, that serves no purpose to explain in the book, such as the machine, and the MZ layout, etc... Always nice to know what the author is thinking.

[Newfoundking]

Well I have a really Long weekend, so tomorrow I will finsih up a few chapters and release them... I will give you a teaser for Chapter six though... a little few bits and pieces...

Well As you know Jillian will probably be meeting Janie is this chapter, as I titled it Family.. There is quite a bit of lying too taking place. My notes for this chapter (draft 1) are only 2 pages long, so I will have to expland a lot, but here is a little something to read while I wait, the first 3 paragraphs...


When we get to my store I see a sign saying closed for lunch. I get my keys and go into the store as it seems pretty empty. We both go into the back room and have some Chicken and fries.

" So do you like the Chicken?" I ask her, trying to make small talk...

"Yes," Heather answers" I haven't had cooked food since the attacks, only army rations..."

"Well I had to eat those for a week, and I hope to never eat them again!" I say " Well, I'm not sure if I can tell you this, but the army name I have is only fake, My real name is David Leone."

"David, I like that name." Heather says. " Well Heather isn't my name, It is actually Jillian Hedges. They told me not to tell anyone, but I guess you get to be the special exception"....

No more until tomorrow... Don't forget to vote!

[Hoppah]

Stan ordered me to make a poll with the answer 'Live' and 'Die'.
@ Newfoundking: You should be able to change the titles of the poll now.

[Newfoundking]

Thank-you Hoppah.. Greatly appreciated, are you going to vote?

[Stan]

Stan ordered me to make a poll with the answer 'Live' and 'Die'.
@ Newfoundking: You should be able to change the titles of the poll now.

Hmm "ordered" sounds a bit like I'm your Boss... :1046276313_Up_to_something: Well I only asked if you had time to do so

[Newfoundking]

Well, you kinda are the highest ranking one here!

Thanks once again guys for helping me with this... I was n ever any good at killing characters, so I figured i'd let my readers decide

[Newfoundking]

I wasn't in much of a typing mood tonight so instead I decided to draw up what the ITDUS Uniforms will look like

Shown are class A and B for Mercer and Stein

They are pretty basic, the Battle dress is unisex, and is mainly in case of having to run and hide, or shoot something All enlisted get one... Mainly because all that gray and black just blends with everything else the Colorblind Inter terrestrials see


Class A

Class B

Battle Dress

[Newfoundking]

Here we go, a bit of a cliff hanger!

Chapter VI
Family




When we get to my store, there is a sign in the window saying that the store is closed for lunch and that they will be back around 1:30. So I open the door to the store and go in to the back room. We each take some chicken and fries and go into the back room to eat.

“So, do you like the chicken?” I ask Heather, trying to make conversation.

“Oh yes, I haven’t had a real meal since we were moved into the Barracks.”


"Well I had to eat those for a week, and I hope to never eat them again!" I say. I figure small talk is getting us no where so I say "Well, I'm not sure if I can tell you this, but the ITDUS name I have is only fake, my real name is David Leone."

"David, I like that name." Heather says. “Well Heather isn't my name, it is actually Jillian Hedges. They told me not to tell anyone, but I guess you get to be the special exception"

Then I hear a noise coming down from upstairs.

“Hello, who’s there, we are closed, come back later.” Janie yells out.

“Janie, it’s me,” I yell out, “I got off work early, so I brought my friend from work, her name is Hea…”

“Jillian, my name is Jillian Hedges. I work with David. And you must me David’s Sister Janie…” She says

Jillian takes Janie into the back room where they talk and have food. Then I remember about Barry, he works for the ITDUS and probably will rat us out if he finds out about us. There is about 5 minutes before he should be back. I tell Jillian this, and she says good-bye to Janie.

“Well, Jillian do you have a car?” I ask as we go to my garage.

“Well no, I used to have one, but it was destroyed in the attacks.” Jillian tells me

“Well, I have a new car, and Janie isn’t old enough to drive, so do you want my car.”

She gives me a dumbstruck look. Then she says, “David, wow, I would love to have it! Thank you so much!” She runs up and gives me a great big hug and a kiss on the cheek.

She takes the keys and drives off.

“So, David, what was that?” Janie says from out of no where, “A car and a kiss?”

“Jeez Janie, I’m buying you a bell” I say, “I have a new car, and there is no need to have a old one too, and the kiss was just because she was really excited.

“Yeah, sure” Janie says with a sarcastic tone.

“Okay, new subject… Let’s see what’s on TV!” I say, quickly changing subjects.

“Shown is the aftermath of the first attacks on the White house by a sub-terrain being. Little has been released regarding this being, if any is known…”

“It sure is lucky you left when you did David.” Janie says,” The whole city is in ruins and you might’ve been dead.”

“Aw, Janie, don’t think about that… I wanted to leave, because there were some power surges and I wanted to beat traffic so I left” I really hate lying to her, after all she has been through, but it is for her own safety. “Hey, think of how luck we were that those cops were near by. If it wasn’t for them, we would have lost our home.”

“Yeah, but them having such big guns, isn’t that strange?” Janie asks.

The phone rings saving me some explaining, and when I answer I hear the same monotone voice as the last time the ITDUS called.

“Grab your family, anyone else, and get to the white house site right away, don’t delay.” Then the voice hangs up.

“Janie, get Hobo and Charlie now!” I shout “Quick!”

I grab my gun and my coat as Janie gets the pets. We run out of the house and towards the white house. When we are about half way across the street an inner-alien attacks Janie. I shoot it 12 times and then run to her. When I peel the corpse off of her I see her bloody face.

I didn’t want to believe it, but, I knew she was dead. I stop a cop car, and tell him to go to the white house now!

I put Janie in the back of the car, and I see her eyes twitch. She is still alive!

“Janie, Janie, don’t die, hold on, you’ll be okay. I love you.” I whisper to her in the back of the cop car.

“David… I can’t. I won’t be able to, I love you David” Janie whispers.

We pull up to the Medical tent and I bring her into the nearest doctor. He immediately rushes a group to try to save her. I am told to wait in the front of the tent while they help her.

[Newfoundking]

Not as exciting as last chapter, but I figure you will enjoy it, regardless of what happens
Remember that everything in this story happens for a reason, so don't get upset at me for what I did

Chapter VII
Bad News


I am sitting there for only about three minutes, before the doctor who was trying to save her comes out.

“Dr. Mercer, I’m sorry, we did everything we could, but we couldn’t save her.” He says to me

At that point, I didn’t know what to say. I just wasn’t sure what was happening. The doctor finishes telling me about where she will be staying for an autopsy, and how long it will be until I receive her body to bury her.

“Excuse me, Dr. Mercer; there is a very important meeting at the white house site now for all Agents of the ITDUS.” A lady in uniform tells me. She doesn’t look to be ITDUS though; I think she is in the US Marines.

I head over to the tent where they are having the meeting. It looks as if they are just starting. The General is speaking, a big man, hard to miss, about 6’5” and Bald, plus he wears more medals and other accessories on his uniform than a rapper.

“As you already know, you are all here because of the attacks currently happening. We have been doing some testing over the past 4 days and we have just figured out how to tell when there will be an attack. We issued an alert to all ITDUS agents just in time. Unfortunately not all agents and their families could make it, as we were only able to get the warning out about 2 minutes before the attacks. Because of these attacks, it is not safe outside of the Military Zone, so we are asking that all families stay here while we brief you on the ITDUS. There is a need for all ITDUS personnel to report to their buildings in 20 minutes. Uniforms are not mandatory if you do not have yours with you. Any pets are to be brought with you if there are no family members of yours here. There will be a new starting hour of work. All ITDUS personnel are to report to work 20 minutes after dawn, and will return when you are finished. All families will be protected by the US army and ITDUS agents. The creatures prefer attacks during the night, as most of us are not expecting anything, so there will be a curfew brought into action as of today. At sunset, ITDUS agents will be patrolling protecting DC area.”

“Hey, What about now, its 1520, why are they attacking now?” One voice shouts out.

“Well, they are believed to attack during the day if they have very high numbers and there is a low expectancy of an attack. Currently there is an estimated 1.5 million in the DC area alone.”

Nervous chatter erupts and is quickly ended by gun fire from outside, this one much closer than the others outside of the base.

“Listen up, All ITDUS personnel report to the HUMVEE with your buildings number, all family stay here, you will be brought to a building for orientation.” The General says as he gets ready to leave the area.

I run through the crowds of people and smoke clouds to get to my vehicle with a White 42 written on it. I have Charlie‘s cage under my arm, and I have Hobo in my arms as I get in.

Jillian sitting there already, she must’ve been right by it.

“Hello, Sir,” She says keeping to the act we are putting on for the ITDUS “Why do you have your pets, shouldn’t your sister have those?”

“Well, she should, but…” I say, trying not to think about it.

“Oh, I’m sorry.” She says as she hugs me

We drive past the Washington monument. I look and it looks beaten up and out of shape.

“What happened” I ask the soldiers.

“Well they were affected by the attacks, so it is being repaired; the foundation is being replaced.” The Soldier in the passenger seat says to me.

When we pull up to the building, one of the General’s main messengers is waiting for us.

“Commander, Doctor, we need a new serum right away. This is going to be used to secure the base walls at the MZ and the Emergency walls at the Navy yard.”

The messenger hands Jillian a folder as we walk into the building.


Inter-terrestrial Destruction
Of the
United States

Order: 300 Gallons.
Hydrogen 3, Carbon 1, Neon 4, Titanium 5
Foams after high pressure release, then hardens
Order to 1 Military Zone.
Due time: 1530h
Dial: 01 when completed

I walk in and turn on the machine and the computer while Jillian gets our lab coats. I grab the supply crates and read the contents. There is just enough to make the 300 gallons, so there isn’t much room for error.

I turn on the computers and the TV while Jillian activates the machine. The foaming chemical is not that hard to make, basically just going to have to add some expansion agents, so I get the on site supply and put them in the machine as well.

“The 300 gal. is going to need some heavy duty tankers to get this stuff there. But what can we use?” I ask Jillian.

“Well, there is the airport crash trucks, they aren’t used anymore, because all planes are basically grounded, except the ones at the Air base. Why don’t we get one of those?” Jillian says

“Okay, you continue making the foam, and I’ll call the ITDUS main and get them to bring one over.”

After another two hours of making this stuff, we are down to our last batch, and the crash truck is almost loaded.

[Newfoundking]

I promised that I would have it up before too late, so here it is

Chapter VIII
The fall



The last batch finishes up, and Jillian noticed something on TV, it’s the General briefing the country.

I reach over and turn it up, it’s just starting.

“… And we are fighting against what is attacking us. In most countries the elected leaders have been assassinated, so the top Generals have taken over. The United States is taking this position as well, with the President, Vice President and most senators, as well as Governors killed. All Military Zones are only allowing authorized personnel and any intruders will be shot. ..”

At then end of the word shot, the camera swings towards a man in a red bandana, who opens fire with an AK-47. He, as well as 3 other men open fire on everyone and everything, many people drop to the ground, after being shot, including the General.

The gun fire stops quite quickly, after the many agents, and soldiers shoot the three men down, and kill them. The camera then focuses on the platform, where medics take the general off to an ambulance.

I know who those men are. The red bandanas, they are terrorists, the same ones from 9/11. I run to the door, lock it with the bolt and order Jillian to shut the window protectors.

As soon as we are bolted up, I get a phone call. I cautiously pick up.

“Building 42, Commanding Dr. Leone” I say into the receiver.

“Commander, we ask that you and your staff stay away form the building 25, and that you lock up the doors and windows. We are unsure of the numbers of the terrorists, but we are sure where they are located. We have decided that there will be a coordinated attack launched now. We will call when it is safe to leave.” The voice tells me, I think this might be then General’s secretary, Lt. J. Eva.

We look through the safety hatch towards Building 25, a tall narrow building.

“10-9-8-7…” A voice calls out; I think that this might be a launch. “2-1…” A missile peaks its head out as it takes off into the distance.

*Ding.* The pump is now empty, and the phone rings again.

I answer it as usual, but am cut off, “You are clear to leave the building; MPs will take care of the truck.” It is the same voice again this time.

Jillian goes and puts her stuff away and I take my case, and then I think.

“Hey…Ji” I stop myself, “Heather, look, it isn’t safe out there, and there is probably more of these terrorist scum around. I want you to stay with me, because you are all I really have left. I don’t want to lose you too.” I say

“Oh don’t worry, I’ll come stay with you, I don’t want to lose you either.” She says, after hugging me.
The ride home wouldn’t be safe anywhere else, with the scum, and the aliens crawling around. I decide to take the MZ the whole way home, right until my house. When I get up, I drive right into the garage, and lock the doors. We go upstairs to my apartment, and then sit in the living room.

Jillian turns on the news when we sit down.

“Since the subterrain explosions, the Taliban have been plotting attacks against our weak points, and it has just been confirmed, that other than the ones that have killed the General, there is a high possibility of others.

The Taliban were almost destroyed, when there main base in Afghanistan was destroyed. After the troops pulled out to head to America, the Taliban have moved most forces to Baghdad.

Because of the death of the General of New York, DC, and The General of The Army, the entire country has been devastated as the next ranking General attempts to take control of this attack.”

Jillian turns off the TV, and looks me in the eye. “Dave, we don’t need to watch this, I really don’t think that this is helping at all. How about we forget all about this, and just… have some fun?” She says

Right as she puts the remote down, I hear shouting in some weird language I haven’t heard before. I tell her to get back, and I get my gun ready. Looking through the peephole and see a couple of men wearing red head bands, and carrying bulges in their trench coats.

“Run, get to the window now, and call for help, we need to get out of here! Now!” I say quietly, but yelling at the same time. I tell Hobo to go, and grab the Bird Cage, while we head out the window…

The garage was locked up safe, so I get in my truck and drive as fast as I can away from there. Jillian calls the base.

She explains that there is a bomber in the building, and where it is too. I drive into the base and then just stop off the road by the Vehicle lot.

“I take the phone. Listen, you get every resource in that army of yours and get it in there, there are people inside, as well as red banned terrorists, you have ten minutes, then I am going in there.” I hang up the phone then.

About 6 truck loads of soldiers and too many police cars to count speed past the lot to my house.
Now I am ready to let them go, I look at the clock, they now have 5 minutes. I didn’t like the attitude I was given.

[Newfoundking]

okay, I have hit a slump, and Am not really wanting to type anymore of this book today... but I do have some exciting news... I have just finished book 4! I also was throwing out recycling some old papers from last year, and I discovered my first written book, based on a dream I had, called William Manor.. Thats the name of the book BTW not my dream I figured I would tell you, though its not too exciting, and its only maybe 100 pgs long.. .Also on that note... I guess I will tell you a bit about that book too. It follows the life of Special Agent Will Tucker, who works witha federal police force(like FBI, NCIS, ATF....etc) and when he goes away on vacation over the long weekend, he discovers that a legend about what really happened there 13 years ago is true... thats really all I can say about that

[Newfoundking]

Bad news, and good news... I have another chapter ready... thats the good, the bad is tha the others are not on my computer anymore, so I need to recover them first, thats my major worry, then I will worry about the next chapter... If there is anyone that wants to read the next chapter now however, please post and inform me, and I'll put it up, but can't garuntee spelling etc...

[hunter42]

How did you lose the files? That must suck - I hate losing files. I'm sure everyone can wait till you have sorted out your issues

Oh come on! Why is there more votes for life? Death always makes a better read (or you know, maybe people just arn't sadistic lol)

[Newfoundking]

lol

I had something impotant in my computer fry, but I haven't been able to see it because everything looks the same as before, so the autopsy has been a slow painful process of trying each piece until it works.... I still have the paper copy in my book binder, along with the other 4 books. I didn't lose the files completely becuase it is still on my hdd, but its on the same one that windows is installed. I need to take apart this computer, and switch up the the hdd, then I'll go and get my files. But I still have all the chapters that I typed up here

Chapter 9 is still in my paper book, so it's only a matter of typing it up here, then posting. Since this is only IE7, there is no spell check so I can't guaruntee correct spelling, but it should be pretty legible

If I get some time after I shovel (snow storm now !) and eat, then I'll out in the next chapter...

Ps just to let you know about the life/death thing...
as for the character it was, it was Jillian, in the fourth book, I stopped, and choose whether the event that would take place would be fatal, or just severe.. it was just severe, so she lives until book five... now as for that, it was also another character, that you have already met, that poll actually decided the whole setting of book 5 as well as the end of book 4, and it had nothing to do with Jillian.

well, I must shovel before the plow comes

Laptop is working, not my desktop, but I will have the story up unless something comes up tonight

[Newfoundking]

Okay that was what, 3 weeks ago? well either way I owe you guys a chapter, don't I?
Well Here is goes

Chapter 9

One of Jillian's talents is to convince me to listen to her. Well because of this, I do as she says, and wait for the army to take care of this, however, I am not liking their track record.

"Look, David, the army gave me a place to stay, it's on base, so it isn't very big, but it's a place to wait it out, at least until the army acn do something." Jillian says to me.
"Look, it's not that my house is going, but it's whats in there. My only memories of Janie, and how life was before all this had to happen and screw up the world as we know it." I reply, very calmly, considering my situation.

We pull out of the lot, and I turn towards the military housing just outside of the main complex, and just as my luck has been going the past month, an MP pulls us over.

"Excuse me sir, this doesn't look much like a vehicle that belongs here, and with those taliban threatening to blow up another building, I'm going to have to ask you to show me some ID." The MP says to me.

I don't know what snaped in me, but he caused me to flip when he said that. "Look, incase you couldn't tell, this is an ITDUS truck, in here is an ITDUS agent, my pets and what belongings I could grab before having to leave the building that means absolutely nothing to you, but is currently the taliban's heart in america."

At That point, I roll up the window, and drive into the space for Jillian's apartment. The MP seemed more occupied with the terrorist HQ in the Nation's capitol, so I figured we'd be okay.

We are sat down in her living room, watching the news, when the reporter says this, " Okay, and apparently we have just received notice that either we pull out now, or they will set off a bomb big enough to kill mostly everyone in the area. Because of this, the police have ordered us back another 5 blocks, as they prepare to enter..."

"How stupid can they be to announce the tactical plans on national TV, I'm sure someone there can speak english and they are going to kill everyone there, I have to go and see what I can save out of this mess that is left." I say with hatred boiling.

" David, wait. You can't what happens if they kill you?" Jillian shouts to me.

I stop, and think. "Well either way we are going to die, at least this way I get a chance to live."

Jillian grabs my arm, and pulls me to face her. "If you are doing this, I'm comng, and..." She pulls me in and gives me the most passionate kiss in my life, it is too amazzing to describe in words.

We grab out coats, and I take my gun, and vest, and then we get in my truck, as I drive faster, and more wreckless than ever before down the MZ main road. After two minutes of driving at close to 100 mph we pull up to the police barricade.

"Jillian I need you to trut me" As I say this, I pull her in and give her one last kiss. Then I get out of the truck, and jump the barricade and make a run for it to the building. I know this building better than any other building in the world. I layed it out, planning 5 hidden exits/entrances to each floor, incase I ever need to get out secretly.

By the garage is a hidden window, which leads to under the service stairwell, all I have to do is get in there, and I am past that. The Army is afraid to enter, because they know if they do, they'll blow it to hell. The window is a tight squeeze, but I manage to pull through, then I see it. There is a bomb, that appears to have on trip wire running to the garage door, and the other wire running to the circuit board. It appears to be wired into the bulding's power supply. I am no expert in IEDs so I figure leave this for later, and I'll worry about the moving threat for now.

I have 2 full clips and one clip with 5 rounds left. From what I know, they are armed, and apparently there are only 10 here, which means, if my aim is good enough, and I can kill them in a shot or two, I should be good. Then I see a shadow, and here footsteps. It only sounds like one man though.

He turns up around the corner and sees me, and doesn't know what to do. I do a quick search for a kill switch, then run up and take a swing at his temple with the barrel of my gun. He drops down, and isn't breathing. Wow, that was easy, didn't even need to shoot him.

Then I hear it, two men screaming at the top of their lungs in what I belive is arabic. I turn the corner and see them running, so I run up the staircase, becuase their guns look bigger and faster shooting than mine. This doorway on the second floor will lead me to the hallway which goes across from my apartment and the vacant one across from me. Yet one more armed gunman is awaiting me.

I have only shot this gun three times, and that was during a quick training. I figure now is probably the best time to get a real shot in, before he turns around and shoots me.

*Bang!* The gun recoil frightens me, and the noise in the hallway makes my ears ring, but I thnk I got him right in the head. He drops to his knees and then falls on his face.

The sound of automatic gunfire rings throughout the small stairwell, and I look down. I fire off the four remaining rounds at the moving bodies coming up the stairs. Then silence. I take a look and they are both down, so I reload quickly, which is a lot tougher than it looks on TV.

I run down the hall, checking only my door to see if it is locked, before running up the main stairwell to the floor where my tenants live. There was a man with his nephew up there when I checked earlier, so hopefully I can get to them before its to late.

I killed 3 so I am expecting maybe 6 up here. When I look through the window of the door to the hallway, I seen a man wearing a red bandana on his head. Taking my chances, still on my adrenaline rush, I elect to take a clean shot, point blank at his head. And to my luck, he drops without a firery explosion, only a lead one. As soon as he was shot, they opened fire on the door, and I panicked.

I reach around and fire a few blind shots into the hall, with not much sucess, I hear no one die, only scream in pain. A man runs out to kill me and before I even think, I pull the trigger, 3 times. Two of those three times, get a bullet to come out and enter him, the last one give the empty firing pin click.

With no time to reload, I grab his much heavier AK-47 and storm the hallway. With 2 men in there, they don't know what to think when they see me. One stands looking quite stunned, and the other shoots at me, hitting me in the left arm once. I return fire, and after about 10 bullets, hit him enough to take him out. Automatic guns are even worse the semi automatic.

"You, drop it!" I scream at the other terrorist, who is only holding a pistol, and following the rules of the bigger gun, he drops it.

"Don't kill me!, please, I am only a young boy. There is one dead in that apartment, the rest are raiding the store trying how to get downstairs." He pleads to me.

"Okay, I still don't trust you, because you are a terrorist pig, so stay here." I tell him as I cuff him to the service stairwell railing.

I run down the main stairs, expecting to die in the final fight, but to my surprise I hear glass shatter and two more shots from what i think is a sniper rifle. I call the Commander for emergency response squads, who is a friend of mine, and ask what is going on.

"Okay, David, walk out, with your ands up to the window and climb out, they'll clear up wht bombs, and you'll be able to get in after medical treatment"

I raise my hands and slowly climb out the window to a army ambulance, where they treat me for my wound. I notice my truck parked over by the police cars, then I see Jillian.

"You're okay, thank God!" She says as she runs up to hug me. Then she sees my arm and smacks me. "See I told you you'd be shot!"

We spend the next hour explaining everything to the police, the commanders, and everyone else. Then I get a phone call

"Yeah, Leone" I answer it

"David Leone? This is the General, first of all, what the hell where you thinking, secondly, whatever it was, keep it up, thirdly, get to the General's meeting area, so I can thank you and breif you, along with the world on what is going to happen next" Then he hung up

The General never seemed very talkative, and I don't blame him. I really couldn't care less what happened now, my house and my girlfriend were safe.

Stay tuned to see the irony in that statement! Gotta love irony!

Author's note: if this seems a little off from the usual, its becaus eI had to rewrite this chatper becuase the paper one destroyed the building, which is needed in book 2, so it can't be destroyed, and I got some bad news about some friends today, so I'm a little off

[joachimnor]

Dude, i've been waiting a loooong time for this

[Newfoundking]

i have finally sat down and taken the time to write it out, sorry for the very extended delay... so what is the feedback?

[joachimnor]

GREAT!!!!!!!!!!! :D:D:D:D:D (Sorry for caps)

[Newfoundking]

alright... well depending on whast I have to do today, that will decide if you guys get chapter 10 tonight or tomorrow

[jab16]

sorry if this makes you mad but in the first sentience of chapter 9 it says acn instead of can. lov e the story and keep it up it is very good